Anonymous asked:

Hi there! I really don't understand the Tim Key ant poem - would you be able to post an explanation? Thanks!

Hi! You mean the “An ant wrote on his CV that he’d carried a piano …” one? It’s just to do with bullshitting on CVs, hyping yourself up/omitting truths - like I was one of three editors of the school magazine but if you read my CV you’d find no mention of the other two girls, implying that I did it alone but not outright lying. And ants are known for working together to carry large things so we’ve got a sneaky little insect here.

Sorry this took so long I haven’t looked at this blog in months.

Anonymous asked:

Is there anywhere I can watch "we need answers"?

Hey I have a few messages like this sitting in my inbox (sorry) but I don’t think there is anywhere at the moment. Sorry again!

If anyone knows somewhere you can watch it let me know 

Working with Daniel Kitson is a real treat. Hugely talented and odd-looking, he is, primarily, a disciplinarian. Like an old-school piano teacher, he carries an eating fork and if I ever get a line wrong or inflect my voice imprecisely, he strikes me hard on the back of the hand with the fork and pushes his face right up against mine. It’s high pressure. But it gets results. Constantly in my grill, like Hitchcock, he’ll yell “Volume” if I’m undercooking it and if I’m doing a speech badly he’ll yell “Wanker” and I’ll feel his eating fork or a ladle fly past my nose. Tough in rehearsals, it’s been a nightmare in the performances.
Tim Key in his Independent column. Click through for the full text. (via fuckyeahdanielkitson)